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Wednesday 26 August 2009

An atheist tries to win over God!

An atheist tries to win over God!

Enjoy this one!

An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!' he said to himself. As he was walking along the side of the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13 foot Kodiak brown bear beginning to charge towards hims. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. 'Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in him chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over hm, reaching for him with it's left paw and raising it's right paw to strike him...he yelled out, "OH MY GOD!"
Time stopped....
The bear froze....
The forest was silent....
Even the river stopped moving.

As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from all around, God spoke:

"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU NOW AS A BELIEVER?"

Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"

"VERY WELL" said God.

The light went out.....
The river ran....
The sounds of the forest resumed....

And the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:

"Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive, Amen!"

Regards,

N


Wednesday 19 August 2009

US Embassy Circular - Cool one

US Embassy Circular - Cool one

Don't know how far this one is true. It is certainly a nice read, nevertheless!

US Embassy in India has issued a circular for Indians. It states:

"Since the break-out of Swine Flu, we have been flooded by requests from
Indians. We request you NOT to apply for H1N1, and want to clarify that it
is not a visa!"

Regards,

N


Tuesday 18 August 2009

Pair of Old Shoes and .....

Pair of Old Shoes and .....

A young man, a student in one of the universities, was one day taking a walk with a professor, who was commonly called the students' friend for his kindness to those who waited on his instructions.

As they went along, they saw lying in the path a pair of old shoes, which were supposed to belong to a poor man who was working in a field close by, and who had nearly finished his day's work . . .

Student turned to the professor, saying: "Let us play the man a trick:

We will hide his shoes, and hide ourselves behind those bushes, and wait to see his perplexity when he cannot find them ..."

"My young friend," answered the professor, "We should never amuse ourselves at the expense of the poor . . . But you are rich, and may give yourself a much greater pleasure by means of this poor man.

Put a coin in each shoe, and then we will hide ourselves and watch how this affects him." Visit: The student did so and they both placed themselves behind the bushes close by. The poor man soon finished his work, and came across the field to the path where he had left his coat and shoes . . .


While putting on his coat he slipped his foot into one of his shoes, but feeling something hard, he stooped down to feel what it was, and found the coin. Astonishment and wonder were seen upon his countenance.


He gazed upon the coin, turned it around and looked at it again and again.


He then looked around him on all sides, but no person was to be seen. He now put the money into his pocket, and proceeded to put on the other shoe; but his surprise was doubled on finding the other coin . . .


His feelings overcame him . . . He fell upon his knees, looked up to heaven and uttered aloud a fervent thanksgiving in which he spoke of his wife, sick and helpless, and his children without bread, whom this timely bounty, from some unknown hand, would save from perishing . . .


The student stood there deeply affected, and his eyes filled with tears.

"Now," said the professor, are you not much better pleased than if you had played your intended trick?"

The youth replied, "You have taught me a lesson which I will never forget. .. I feel now the truth of these words, which I never understood before: "It's more blessed to give than to receive."

Regards,

N

ps: Source unknown


Friday 14 August 2009

Don't Copy if you can't Paste!

Don't Copy if you can't Paste!

Don't just enjoy the joke - Read the moral of the story too!

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He Said: "The

best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman

was my mother!"

 

Laughter and Applause

 

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to

crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He

said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my

life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

 

The wife went; "ahhhh!" with shock and rage.

 

Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke,

 

the manager finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!"

 

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed

nursing first degree burns from boiling cooking oil.

 

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Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!!!!!!!

Regards,

N


Positive Outlook

Positive Outlook

Worth Reading.

Regards,

N

Must Read

Pls. try to get the Answer......

Pls. read this: It is a 99.99% challenge that u will have a wrong answer to
the question
asked in the passage.

Once there was a loving couple traveling in a bus in a mountainous area.

They decided to get down at some place. After the couple got down at some
place the bus moved on.

As the bus moved on, a huge rock fell on the bus from the mountain and
crushed the bus to crumbs.

Everybody on board was killed.

The couple upon seeing that, said, "We wish we were on that bus"

Why do u think they said that?
Now, think of your answer...... .and then......

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....-------- --------- -- Answer !!!! ------------ -------

If they had remained on the bus instead of deciding to get down, the

resulting time delay could have been avoided and the rock would have fallen

after the bus had passed ..!!!

Moral:

Think positive in life always and look for opportunities when u can help
others......

Many times in life, the opposite of Success is not Failure, its Quitting.

Winners never Quit, Quitters never Win.....