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Monday, 22 August, 2011

Puns For All

Puns For All

Don't shun them!

PUNS .... FOR .... ONES WITH .... VERY HIGH ...... IQ... ????

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are *in Seine*.

A man's home is his castle, in a *manor* of speaking.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Condoms should be used on every *conceivable* occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but �.. broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted. Tain't yours and tain't mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.