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Saturday, 10 October, 2009

Reactions to Obama's Nobel Prize

Reactions to Obama's Nobel Prize

News item: US President Obama has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for "His International Diplomacy, specifically for his call for complete nuclear disarmament".

On hearing this, I did a quick survey of people from different walks of life (all imaginary, of course - no offence meant to anyone - dead, alive or otherwise), and got a whole range of responses:

  • Mayawati - "I've called for all the people in the country to vote for me and my party in all forthcoming elections. Therefore, I should be made the permanent Prime Minister of India"

  • Sreesanth - "I've decided to bowl real fast and pick up lots of wickets. Hence, umpires must give some batsman out once every three overs that I bowl."

  • Quick Gun Murugan - "I've made a call for the whole world to become vegetarian. Hence all meat processing units should stop functioning with immediate effect"

  • Kapil Sibal - "I hereby declare that my proposed modifications to system of education prevailing in the country will result in the best universities in the world. Hence the Nobel committee must award atleast 2 Nobel prizes to academicians in Indian Universities every 5 years."

  • Banta Singh - "I've decided to learn everything about the stock markets and become an expert - Hence all shares that I buy should immediately start going up after I buy them. All public sector mutual funds should allocate at least 20% of their Assets Under Management to buy shares that I hold in my portfolio."

  • Ramalinga Raju - "I've declared that Maytas Properties has lent lots of money to Satyam. Therefore, Satyam should pay all that money to Maytas Properties"

  • P Chidambaram - "I call upon all Pakistanis to stop infilterating into Kashmir. I demand that all Maoists lay down arms and become a part of the mainstream society. Hence, there should be no further infilteration into Kashmir and there should be no problems of any kind from Maoists."

  • Actor Abishek Bachchan - "I've determined that my grandson to be born over the next couple of decades will act in a superlative manner and ensure that he will act in at least 40 'superhit' films a year for the first 30 years of his life. Hence he should be be given the "Dadasaheb Phalke Award" for life-time achievement in the film industry - in advance. After all, if people can be given Bharat Ratna posthumously, why can't people be given awards in advance?"

  • Pranab Mukherjee - "I request all OPEC members to increase Oil production and reduce prices. Hence Oil prices should immediately come down to $ 25 per barrel and remain below that level"

  • Ms. Kanimozhi - "I request gold prices to come down as I want all citizens of TN to buy jewllery at a low cost under the governance of Kalignar Karunanidhi. Hence gold prices should immediately come down and remain muted - at least till Jayalalitha comes back to power"