Goodies or Kid? Goodies, of course!

Goodies or Kid? Goodies, of course!

Further to the earlier post on this blog, I was surprised yet again about what people can do in an emergency!!!

Take a look at this news item:

• http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Repository/ml.asp?Ref=RVRDSC8yMDA4LzAzLzIyI0FyMDAxMDg=&Mode=HTML&Locale=english-skin-custom

Enjoy reading!

Regards,

N

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Life for Sale!

Life for Sale!

Folks, we all know the extent to which desperate people can go in case of an emergency situation. Or so I thought till I saw this news item:

• http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Repository/ml.asp?Ref=RVRDSC8yMDA4LzAzLzE5I0FyMDAxMDU=&Mode=HTML&Locale=english-skin-custom

Enjoy reading!

Regards,

N

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Falling asleep at work? Give this article to your boss!

Falling asleep at work?

Hi friends!

Have you been falling asleep at work? Give this article to your boss!

• http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Repository/ml.asp?Ref=RVRDSC8yMDA4LzAzLzI1I0FyMDAxMDc=&Mode=HTML&Locale=english-skin-custom

Regards,

N

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Rajnikant 'Facts'

Rajnikant 'Facts'

My dear friend (VK) from UAE is proving to be a perennial source of interesting stuff for this blog. VK, Thanks a ton!

You wanna to know who's Rajnikanth?!?!?!?! ... ... ... ... Here are the 'facts':

• Rajnikanth makes onions cry

• Rajnikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

• Ghosts are actually caused by Rajnikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

• Rajnikanth can build a snowman..... Out of rain.

• Rajnikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

• Rajnikanth can drown a fish.

• When Rajnikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, ... ... ... .... he turns the dark off.

• When Rajnikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajnikanth and Rajnikanth.

• Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards … … … Rajnikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.

• The last digit of pi is Rajnikanth. He is the end of all things.

• Rajnikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

• Bullets dodge Rajnikanth.

• A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajnikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

• Rajnikanth's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajnikanth.

• If you spell Rajnikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajnikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

• Rajnikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

• Once a cobra bit Rajnikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

• When Rajnikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

• Rajnikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

• Rajnikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

• Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajnikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

• There is no such thing as global warming. Rajnikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.

• Rajnikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

• Rajnikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.

• It takes Rajnikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

• Rajnikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

• Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajnikanth.

• Rajnikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajnikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

• Rajnikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

• With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajnikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

• The square root of Rajnikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajnikanth, the result is death.

• When you say "no one's perfect", Rajnikanth takes this as a personal insult.

Regards,

N

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Outrunning the Grizzly

Outrunning the Grizzly

Two hikers are tramping through the wilderness. Suddenly there is a rustling noise on the trail. The bushes part and a hungry bear appears.

The first hiker bends down to tighten up his shoe laces.

"What are you doing?" The second hiker asks. "We can't outrun that thing."

"I don't have to outrun the bear," the first hiker replies. "I just have to outrun you."  

Regards,

N

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Parent - A Job Description

Parent - A Job Description

Folks, this one is a straight lift off from a friend's email - Too good to miss out!

Enjoy Reading:

PARENT - Job Description

POSITION:

• Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
• Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION:

• Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.
• Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
• Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
• Travel expenses not reimbursed.
• Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

• The rest of your life.
• Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
• Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
• Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
• Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
• Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
• Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
• Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
• Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
• Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst
• Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
• Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

None.

Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

• None required unfortunately.
• On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them!

Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Regards,

N

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East vs. West - Part VII - Expressing one's opinion

East vs. West - Part VII

(Expressing one's opinion)

In the unlikely even that you couldn't fathom as to which one represents which culture, blue represents the Western culture and Red typifies the Eastern style.More such cartoons follow in subsequent posts.

My source is an HR professional presently working in UAE, though the original source is unknown.

Regards,

N

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East vs. West - Part VI

East vs. West - Part VI
(East vs West Moods & Weather)

In the unlikely even that you couldn't fathom as to which one represents which culture, blue represents the Western culture and Red typifies the Eastern style.More such cartoons follow in subsequent posts.

My source is an HR professional presently working in UAE, though the original source is unknown.

Regards,

N

____________________________________

East vs. West - Part V

East vs. West - Part V

(Responding to a Problem)

In the unlikely even that you couldn't fathom as to which one represents which culture, blue represents the Western culture and Red typifies the Eastern style.More such cartoons follow in subsequent posts.

My source is an HR professional presently working in UAE, though the original source is unknown.

Regards,

N

____________________________________

East vs. West - Part IV

East vs. West - Part IV

(Typical Conversation in a restaurant!)

In the unlikely even that you couldn't fathom as to which one represents which culture, blue represents the Western culture and Red typifies the Eastern style.More such cartoons follow in subsequent posts.

My source is an HR professional presently working in UAE, though the original source is unknown.

Regards,

N

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East vs. West - Part III

East vs. West - Part III

In the unlikely even that you couldn't fathom as to which one represents which culture, blue represents the Western culture and Red typifies the Eastern style. More such cartoons follow in subsequent posts.

My source is an HR professional presently working in UAE, though the original source is unknown.

Regards,

N

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