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Wednesday, 1 December 2010

The Israeli Dog Vs the Arab Dog

The Israeli Dog Vs the Arab Dog

Delightful forward that I got from a friend.

Guess that based on your nationality and your personal preferences, you can change the characters involved to make it more appealing to your own internal audiences!

The Israeli Dog Vs the Arab Dog.

The Israelis and Arabs realized that if they continued fighting, they
would someday end up destroying the whole world.

So they decided to settle their dispute with an ancient practice:

A duel of two, like David and Goliath.

This would be a dog fight. The negotiators agreed each side would take 5
years to develop the best fighting dog they could.

The dog that won the fight would earn its people the right to rule the
disputed areas.

The losing side would have to lay down its arms for good.

The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermanns and Rottweilers in the
world.

They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the
meanest Siberian wolves.

They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy of each litter, fed it
the best food and killed all the other puppies.

They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing
machine.

After the 5 years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison bars
on its cage.

Only expert trainers could handle this incredibly nasty, ferocious
beast.

When the day of the big dog-fight finally arrived, the Israelis showed
up with a very strange animal, a Dachshund that was 10 feet long!!

Everyone at the dog-fight arena felt sorry for the Israelis.

No one there seriously thought this weird, odd-looking animal stood any
chance against the growling beast over in the Arab camp.

The bookies all took one look and predicted the Arab dog would win in
less than a minute.

The cages were opened. The Dachshund slowly waddled toward the center of
the ring.

The Arab dog leaped from his cage and charged at the giant wiener-dog.

As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its
jaws and swallowed the Arab beast whole in one bite.

There was nothing left but a small puff of fur from the Arab
killer-dog's tail floating to the ground.

The stunned crowd of international observers, bookies and media
personnel let out a collective gasp of disbelief and surprise.

The Arabs approached the Israelis, muttering and shaking their heads in
disbelief.

"We do not understand," said their leader, "our top scientists and
breeders worked for 5 years with the meanest, biggest

Dobermanns , Rottweilers and Siberian wolves.

They developed an incredible killing machine of a dog.

The Israeli General replied. "Well, for 5 years we have had a team of
Jewish plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills , California ,

working to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."

 

Regards,

N


Sunday, 28 November 2010

Heights of Lunacy

Heights of Lunacy

I've heard of all kinds of greatly humourous examples of lunacy about airport security officials from different corners around the world, but this one takes the cake (or, I should probably say, "Takes the bakery"!).

Do read on - and have a hearty laugh ... ... ...

Regards,

N


Monday, 22 November 2010

A Virtual Pet Spider - Especially for those in the corporate world!

A Virtual Pet Spider - Especially for those in the corporate world!

Enjoy this one:

Regards,

N


Saturday, 20 November 2010

STRESS-BUSTER

STRESS-BUSTER

For the enjoyment of old-timers from the MS DOS days:


Regards,

N

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Why are Indian students being attacked abroad???

Why are Indian students being attacked  abroad???

Of late, I've started wondering as to when I'm going to find the time and occasion to post my own stuff, considering the pace at which I keep receiving mails worth posting!

Here's one more such mail that I got from a friend.

One of the finest analysis of why Indian students are being attacked
abroad ... ... ... ... ... ...

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student
named Chandrasekharan Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who
said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his
hand up: ' Patrick Henry, 1775' , he said.

'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the
People, shall not perish from the Earth?''

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863'
,said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed.
Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history
than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'F #@*' the Indians,'

'Who said that?' she demanded.

Chandrasekhar put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?'

Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime
Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? "S@#*" this!'

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the
teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky,1997'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say
anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael
Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.'

The teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone
said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!'

And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'Lehmann Brothers, Sept 16th,2008'

Regards,

N