Great one-liners about Rajnikanth

Great one-liners about Rajnikanth

With the new Rajinikanth movie around ... .... ... ...

Keep reading.

Some crazy & wackiest Rajini one-liners from the Internet you shouldn't miss:

• Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
• There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
• Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
• Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
• Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
• Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
• Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
• Rajinikanth's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
• Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
• Rajinikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
• Rajinikanth doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
• When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
• Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
• Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
• Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
• Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
• Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236 BC. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Rajinikanth. 

Regards,

N

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Bhagavat Gita - Chapter 19

Bhagavat Gita - Chapter 19

With so many friends who are ever-so-eager to contribute absolute gems, there are times that one doesn't even have to think of a suitable post for my  Something to Smile blog!

Do take a look at this one - and enjoy!

Arjun: Hey Vasudev, how can I do the most heinous and unpardonable act of forwarding junk mail that I receive, to my friends, relatives and revered elders?

Krishna: Hey Paartha, at this moment, none of them is your friend or foe, relative or in-law, young or old and good or evil. You have no escape from following your Net-Dharma. Make haste to log on and send off the junk mail to one and all. That is the only Karma expected of you and Dharma you must follow.

Arjun: Hey Murari ! Do not implore me to do something that pricks my conscience and stirs my soul.  

Krishna: O Kunti-Puthra, you are caught in the vicious circle of the Maya. In this material world, you are committed to no one except to yourself, your Dharma and your mouse. Junk mails have existed for the last 25 years and will remain long after you are gone. Rise above the Maya and perform your bounden duty.

Arjun: Lord Krishna, pray and enlighten me on how junk mail is related to the Maya.

Krishna: Vatsa, junk mail is the 6^th element in the universe – Aap, Vaayu, Jal, Agni, Aakaash and Junk Mail. It is at the same time animate and inanimate, living and dead beat. It overloads the system and fills up the hard disk. But it serves one great purpose. It leads people to believe that they are filling their time in an intellectual pursuit by reading and reforwarding junk mail. It gives them a sense of achievement without investing their intellect and efforts. Like the Atman that leaves one's physical body and moves on to another, the junk mail moves from system to system and never gets deleted or dies.

Arjun: Great Giridhaari, kindly tell me what the true attributes of junk mail are.

Krishna: Neither fire can burn it, nor air can evaporate it. Neither can it be conquered nor can it be defeated. Junk mail is omnipresent and immortal like your noble and eternal soul. Unlike an arrow shot from your bow, many a time the junk mail forwarded by you, will even return to you safely after some months or even years, allowing you to re-re-forward it to the same people.      

Arjun: Great Saarathi, my salutations to you. You have opened my eyes to the cult of junk mail. I was lost in the Maya and have been reading all the junk mail that I keep receiving and doing no other Karma. Now on, I will just press the "Forward" button without reading any of it and send it to all and sundry, friends and foes, relatives and in-laws, young and old. That will surely bring them to their knees in this epochal battle of Good against Evil, in the Kurukshetra.  

Krishna: Arjuna, victory or defeat is not in your hands. Do not ponder over the fruits of your labour. Just keep forwarding junk mail and make one and all go bananas reading it and you will have done your supreme duty. Tathastu. 

Regards,

N

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Perspective

Perspective

Something to smile, indeed.

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?" 

Regards,

N

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And then the fight started - No. 6

And then the fight started - No. 6

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a weighing scale.

And then the fight started.....

Regards,

N

And then the fight started - No. 5

And then the fight started - No. 5

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started... 

Regards,

N