Laloo solves Kashmir Problem!

Laloo solves Kashmir Problem!

The year is 2009.

Laloo becomes PM (if you haven't fainted yet, read on) and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with the Pakistani President. They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes.

Laloo then emerges from the room. Reporters clamour for a statement.

"Our Pakistani President-bhai will make the announcement" is all Laloo will say.

The Pakistani President comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to give up all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached!

The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamours.

"Sab Marketing-waalon ka kamaal hai," (All because of the Consumer electronics marketing people) says Laloo. "Woh kehte hain na, TV loge tho fridge doonga, video khareedein to cellphone free (They give fridge free if you buy TV, cellphone free if you buy VCR )... tho ham bhi unse keh diye: "aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!" (SO, I said to the Pakistani President: "You want Kashmir, right? Take it. But you will get Bihar free with it!")

Regards,

N

---

Spite is a uniquely human emotion

Spite is a uniquely human emotion

Once upon a time, it used to be easy to separate man from beast. Then we realised animals, too, can experience sophisticated emotions and communicate through language. But there is one thing that is beyond even our closest relatives, chimpanzees. And that is the ability to be spiteful.

When there is a choice between having a nice chocolate or two, we all choose two chocolates - unless we are on a diet and someone is watching!!!

However, when there are two of us and when there is a choice between

1. Your 'friendly' rival gets two chocolates, but you but you get one
2. Neither of you gets a chocolate

which option do YOU choose?

Lots of us would be tempted to choose Option 2 - If you are one of those who choose Option 1, you can perhaps feel proud. However, if you have chosen Option 2, you can be justified in feeling even more proud - You're probably a human being!!!

Read this link for further details:

• http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn12273-spite-is-a-uniquely-human-emotion.html

Regards,

N

---

Too Busy for a Friend...

Too Busy for a Friend...

This one is another old one that I keep receiving periodically from my friends - Apparently, goes to show the degree of popularity of this one - Enjoy reading:

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much," were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in VietNam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes." Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."

Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."

"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary"

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved our lists"

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.

Regards,

N

---

Idiots on the computer

Idiots on the computer

Here's something that came to my inbox a couple of days back. I'm sure all of us would have encountered such "specially abled / differently abled" computer whiz kids at different points of time in our lives!

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Lots of people are dumber than you.

Check out the following excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article by Jim Carlton:

---

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes by rolling them into a typewriter to type on them.

4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.

5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was then heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.

6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell technician suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends," the customer replied. When told "Egghead" was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."

8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring that the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?" Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a "cup holder"?" Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer." Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped; it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion, like at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?" Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point the Tech Representative had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!

13. Another well-known is the true tale of the user who called up complaining that the instructions said to load the four diskettes into "Drive A" but he couldn't possibly get more than two in.

---

Hope you enjoyed the stuff!

Regards,

N

---

How Narayanamurthy reached the top of Infosys!

How Narayanamurthy reached the top of Infosys!














All of us will be quite eager to know how Narayanamurthy reached the top of Infosys.

















This is indeed a true story straight from the horses mouth.

























My wife's cousin H V sent this through email to me.




















I strongly felt that it is absolutely worth sharing with all of you.























There's something that each of us should strive to learn and achieve.
































Is it a story of sheer luck???































Or is it a story of grit and determination????





























Or is it a story of being in the right place at the right time????







































What is indeed the secret of Narayanamurthy's success????




































Be patient and go further down to see the remarkable story of Narayanamurthy's path to the top of Infosys:

Ha! Haha! Hahaha!


Regards,


N


ps: If you want the postal address of H V, you'll have to get in touch with me directly - She has a huge collection of adequately ferocious dogs (she calls them her beloved pets, but I can assure you - they can be quite tough with "unwelcome" visitors!!!). Hence, I'm afraid that she'll mostly be out of reach of those of you who may be eager to have a go at her!!!

N