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Vatican Humour
An old one that I received just now, but a good one.
Here it goes:
VATICAN HUMOR
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
' Excuse me, Your Holiness, ' says the driver, ' Would you please take your seat so we can leave? '
' Well, to tell you the truth, ' says the Pope, ' they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today. '
' I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen? ' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning..
' Who's going to tell? ' says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kph.. (Remember, the Pope is German..)
' Please slow down, Your Holiness! ' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
' Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job! ' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio..
' I need to talk to the Chief, ' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 155 kph.
' So bust him, ' says the Chief.
' I don't think we want to do that, he's really important, ' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed, ' All the more reason! '
' No, I mean really important, ' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, ' Who do you have there, the mayor? '
Cop: ' Bigger. '
Chief: ' A senator? '
Cop: ' Bigger. '
Chief: ' The Prime Minister? '
Cop: ' Bigger. '
' Well, ' said the Chief, ' who is it? '
Cop: ' I think it's God! '
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, ' What makes you think it's God? '
Cop: ' His chauffeur is the Pope! '
Regards,
N
What Happens in Heaven!
How true, indeed!
The vast majority think of God / Parents / Old-but-close friends / Old-but-friendly ex-Boss, and all other such human beings only in times of trouble.
Guess that we ought to begin the process of change - and soon!
WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN !
This is one of the nicest e-mails I have seen and is so true:
I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, ' This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received. '
I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.
Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.
The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them." I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.
Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. "This is the Acknowledgment Section, my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed. " How is it that there is no work going on here? ' I asked.
"So sad," the angel sighed. "After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments"
"How does one acknowledge God's blessings? " I asked..
"Simple," the angel answered. Just say, "Thank you, Lord. "
"What blessings should they acknowledge? " I asked.
"If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world ' s wealthy.. "
"And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity. "
"If you woke up this morning with more health than illness .. You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day. "
"If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ... You are ahead of 700 million people in the world."
"If you can worship without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world."
"If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair..... .."
Ok, what now? How can I start?
If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you care to, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are
ATTN: Acknowledge Dept.
"Thank you God, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people with whom to share it. "
If you have read this far, and are thankful for all that you have been blessed with, how can you not send it on???? I thank God for everything, especially all my family and friends!!
--
G.V
Regards,
N
Interesting Quote to make you smile
Regards,
N
TAJ MAHAL As Symbol Of Love
Wonder how factual this forward that I got is!!!
Entertainment quotient is high enough to end up on my blog.
If someone can throw light on the reliability of these claims, I'd be grateful!!!
We All Know
TAJ MAHAL As Symbol Of Love
But The Other Lesser Known Facts are:
1. Mumtaz Was Shahjahan's 4th Wife Out Of His 7 Wives.
2. Shahjahan Killed Mumtaz's Husband To Marry Her!
3. Mumtaz Died In Her 14th Delivery!
4. He Then Married Mumtaz's Sister!
Question Arises Where The HELL IS LOVE.
Regards,
N
The art of getting what you want!
Some of you may consider this as unsuitable for children due to the language involved.
But it generates a smile, and hence this post.
Story with a MORAL!
Once Pappu started praying to Ravan and after 1 year Ravan was very happy from the bhakti of Pappu.
Then Ravan decides to give 3 vardans to Pappu.
RAVAN: Say vatsa! What you want?
PAPPU: I want 100 vardans.
RAVAN: But I can give you only 3 vardans
PAPPU: But I want 100 vardans.
RAVAN: No child that's not possible.
PAPPU: No I want 100 means 100
RAVAN: No I can give you only 3. If you want then take or else I am going.
PAPPU: Ok! But what 3 I will ask, you will give me definitely?
RAVAN: Sure it's promise from Rakshas Raj Ravana.
PAPPU: 1st vardan, convert your GADA on shoulder to wooden bamboo stick.
RAVAN: "Tathastu" and his gada turns into a stick.
PAPPU: 2nd Vardan, put that stick in your aZZZZ hole ... deep inside ...!!
RAVAN: (confused but ......) "Thathastu" and in great pain asks Pappu to ask for the third vardan .... ASAP ...
PAPPU: Now are you giving me rest 97 vardans or should I convert that stick back to GADA ?
The moral of the Story: Management will not yield to your simple request until u can give pain in their Azzzz. J
Regards,
N
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